The DBZ Dating Game
A/n: Forgive me please, I've never seen an episode of the Dating Game, so I have no idea if this is what 
it's really like.  All I can do is look up to the Heaviside and pray I'm right.  Don't forget, please 
R/R, it makes me happy!
A/n 3/9/04: This story is SOOOOOO old.  Just note that when you read it.
~Eternal Sailor Chibi~
Episode One
Cast List
Host- Neurotic Guy
Bachelor- #17
Contestant #1- Naoko
Contestant #2- Marron
Contestant #3- Sasami

Scene One
Backstage
(HOST is straightening his tie and looking over the script.)
HOST: What kind of name is this?  "17"?  That's not even a name.  That's a num-
(HE is cut off by 17, who is standing behind him.)
17: It's my name.
HOST: (nervously) Oh, and what a lovely name it is!  Just beautiful!  Your mother was very-
17: I didn't have a mother.
HOST: The-then, your father was-
17: (condescendingly) I didn't have a father, I had a creator.
HOST: Yes, and a very intelligent (stress put on the word "intelligent") creator, s-sir!  Very sma-
17: I killed him.
HOST: O-Of course you did, sir.  M-my mista-
17: (raises eyebrows at him) Shouldn't the show be starting soon?
HOST: Oh, yes, of course, the show!  (Zips onstage and sits down at his desk)  Hello and welcome to 
another exciting round of "The Dating Game"!  Today's bachelor is 17!!!
(17 walks out and sits in a chair next to the desk.  He waves a bit to the audience.  SOMEONE claps a bit, 
but he is not hindered by the cold welcome.  HOST hands him a stack of cards.)
HOST: So, you know the rules, right?  You can pick any question out of the stack and ask any or all of the 
contestants.  They have to reply and you base your choice on their answers.
17: I know.
HOST: (nervously) Oh, o-of course, s-sir!  G-go right ahe-head!
17: I will, thanks.  (looks at cards)  Contestant number one, if we went on a date, where would you want 
to go for dinner?
NAOKO: Well, I do fancy the Alpha Centaurian food, only…(whimsically) I'm not exactly allowed to go there 
anymore…
17: (raises eyebrows) Contestant number two, same question.
MARRON: Umm…I like salads.  (air-headed laugh)
17: Uh….yeah…Contestant number three, same question.
SASAMI: A fancy restaurant, provided you were paying, that is.
17: Right…hmm…Contestant number one, one of my favorite hobbies is- (Looks closer at question card) Hey!  
I do not do that!  
HOST: (high, squeaky voice)  I don't write them sir, I just hand them to you, I swear!  And it's against 
the rules to change them!  I'm sorry!
17: (glares) Fine.  Contestant number one, I like to press flowers (sends annoyed look at HOST, who cowers) 
in my spare time.  What do you like to do?
NAOKO: Well, killing people is fairly fun, provided they're not a guy you're dating, that is.  (Nervous 
laughter)  I'll never make that mistake again.
17: Uh-huh, well, that's strange…  Contestant number two, same question.
MARRON: Umm…I like to-uh-swim.
17: Contestant number three?
SASAMI: I quite agree with Contestant number one in that killing people is fun, even if it is the guy 
you're dating.  It's just one more way to get rid of those annoying boys who expect you to do everything 
for them.
17: (Blink, blink) Contestant number one, what is your stand on fighting?
NAOKO: Quite fun, I should say.
17: Contestant number two?
MARRON: It's mean.
17: Contestant number thr-uh, no.  Number one- (looks through cards) Do you have any special powers?
NAOKO: Besides transforming, you mean?  No, not off the top of my head.
17: Contestant number-uh, never mind.  Hey- (snaps fingers in face of HOST, who is hiding under his desk) 
I've made up my mind.
HOST: Well, g-go right ahead, s-sir, pl-please!
17: Thanks.  I'm going to go on the date with contestant number one and I'm going to call a psychiatrist 
for two and three.
NAOKO: (snorts trying not to laugh about MARRON and SASAMI, who both look very miffed.  She steps down 
onto the stage among whistles, applause and cat-calls from the male half of the audience and walks to 17.)